Tornado Warning
Filed under: Commentary, Humor, Personal, Random, Satirical | Tags: annoying, Commentary, funny, hilarious, Humor, Paris, Rant, Scrubs, The Office, weatherman |
So last night, I was watching the return of my favorite television show (“The Office”) when suddenly, the weather man comes on.
“Hello, I’m Dan Thomas and we are now on a tornado warning. There is a storm about 4 counties west of here, but just in case you’re in Paris county…”
He then proceeds to show us, in excruciating detail, the state of the pretty colors on his screen:
“As you can see, this red area is flying over Gregoryville and the yellow area is following it. Let’s take a look from a different angle. Now, you can see that the red area is still over Gregoryville and that the yellow area is following it. Now, let’s move it from this angle…how about this angle…Now let’s make it 3D. You can’t see the depth, but trust me, it’s dangerously 3D. Now let’s spin this graph… How about from this angle? As you can see, this red area is still flying over Gregoryville…”
This guy manages, in 10 minutes, to show us every concievable angle of this red splotch 4 counties away while my favorite show is on. Honestly, I think he invented new dimensions in order to show us from new angles. That didn’t keep him from repeating himself a thousand times, but it was interesting seeing our weather patterns displayed in the 5th dimension.
Then, as soon as we move onto the next new show (“Scrubs”), he sticks his dirty face into my life again.
“Hello, I’m Dan Thomas. Yes, I’m fucking up your show, but this is the only time I can get people to pay attention to me. Hi mom! I’m fucking Dan Thomas! Now, let’s take a look at this potential tornado flying over Gregoryville…”
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humor-blogs.com rained urine on Dan Thomas’ house once. Bet he didn’t expect that!
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I hate when the news interrupts my programing for whatever reason – but especially for the “not that important could have waited” news. When Mitt Rommney dropped out of the race the news interrupted what I was watching twice in the same hour. Grr!
if only there were no weather… um… wait…
Perhaps you could splice into Dan Thomas’ cable feed. The next time he’s at home watching the Spice Network, you could interrupt at a critical moment, dressed as a pirate.
That is why I DVR everything.
Maybe you’re looking at this from the wrong angle. Maybe Dan Thomas isn’t the one who wants the attention. Maybe it’s all about Gregoryville and Dan is the front man.