A Job Safari

I recently applied to work at the campus Writing Studio as a Writing Consultant — a.k.a. someone who works one-on-one with students struggling with papers. Here is the response I got:

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Dear [dash],

Thank you for applying to become a Peer Consultant for the 2008-2009 academic year. We very much enjoyed reviewing your application materials. Although we were impressed with your candidacy, we are unable to offer you a position at this time.

All the best,

Jennifer H.

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What? Not even an interview? Apparently they must not have liked my application essay. Here’s my opening paragraph:

If I wanted to be a pirate, I’d hop on a schooner and start plundering. If I wanted to be a ninja, I’d go to a dojo to start my training. If I wanted to be a high school English teacher that specialized in writing, then I’d apply to work at my campus writing center so I can start practicing the relevant skills immediately. Oh wait, I’m already doing that.

How does a writing studio reject that quality of writing? After I become an internationally renowned author, I’m gonna come back and guffaw in their grimaced punk-ass faces.

…heh, she said she was “impressed with my candidacy.” heh heh.